Balancing Act

I have a lot of projects going on.  A lot of things I want to do and be, things that I should do and should be, and, of course, things that I am doing and being.  I know that at some point I'll have to choose, to shift something so that I can create a balance.  Anyway, a lot of introspection going on.  It was kind of funny, I was talking to a friend about all of my projects and how neither of us can keep them all straight.  I guess that's not really funny in the traditional "ha-ha" sense.  But it shows that I've been doing things, even if I haven't been writing over here.

I've made a decision about my blog, but I'm still working on the details.  This will not be a book blog.  I don't want it to be a book blog.  I don't read books quickly enough for it to be a book blog, partly because I am trying to read the classics, which are usually long and should be savored, and partly because I am busy doing other things that take away from reading.  If I can figure out how, I'll add a separate page for book reviews or maybe I'll just post the occasional review on the main page and keep a list of reviewed books on a separate page.

Nor am I going to use this blog as a journal, a record of my day-to-day events, thoughts, and opinions.  I've done that before.  It kind of backfired in that people from the real world were reading it and then they got mad at me for saying something against them.  No matter.  I actually don't tell anyone from the real world about this blog so that I can't get into trouble.  Further, I don't think that my day-to-day life is all that interesting.  There's a place for those events, thoughts, and feelings and that's on paper, not the computer screen.  That's not to say I won't occasionally write about things that happen to me.  I will, if they seem big enough, important enough.

That leaves the question of what kind of blog will this be.  I'm fortunate that I'm surrounded by a lot of creative people.  I know many great amateur photographers.  I know many aspiring writers.  I know many people who are great introspective, philosophical thinkers.  I'm working on honing my skills in those areas.  I'm going to use this blog as a creative outlet, a place to post my thoughts, meditations, writings, findings.

All right.  So what are my projects?

I started this year with the intention of having a wellness project.  The wellness project had some sub-projects that focused on taking care of myself (eating well, exercising daily), my relationships and interactions with others (friends, family, random strangers), and things that make me happy (reading, writing, crafts).  That's what I mean by projects.  I wrote down a series of resolutions and I made a daily checklist.  Some were pretty basic--did I take my vitamin? drink 8 glasses of water?  Others required a bit more thinking--did I think before speaking? did I laugh more often?  But it was no good.  The resolutions, the goals were in the right place.  But the system didn't work for me.  I mean, I say a lot of things.  Many of which I forget as soon as they pop out of my mouth.  How can I  evaluate whether I thought before speaking?  Do I try to remember everything?  Or do I judge on whether I gave a good effort?  So I abandoned the system.   

It wound up being a lot of projects, but all were worthwhile.  I'd have to be living on Gilmore time to be able to get them all in. (Seriously!  Have you ever thought about an episode of Gilmore Girls?  How does Rory go to school all day, hang out with Dean, Lorelai, and Lane, get all of her homework done, and have time to read for a while from a thick book, all while getting enough sleep to function?  Hell, I could do all of those things if I sacrificed sleep, which I would totally do because I hate sleeping, but I need sleep.)  So, I'm looking for a way to balance everything.  The big problem is that I think they're all so important that I want to work on them NOW.  But there's only 24 hours in a day.

I've been meaning to journal about the whole thing.  I think that if I really write about it for a few days, I'll be able to write myself into a decision, a plan, a goal, a resolution.  Something will jump out at me.  Maybe one of the areas will ultimately feel more important so I can focus on it first, then add another area once I get into a habit of taking care of the first one.  That's something I should always remember: don't start anything major until I'm back in school.  I could have had a great system going, but then school would have thrown a major wrench in it because, for whatever reason, attendance, completed assignments, and participation are expected.

OK.  Off to do some more thinking!