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I'm not sure if it's the result of establishing a regular(ish) yoga practice or if I've just accepted that there is a lot of stuff going on right now that I straight up cannot control, but I have been very zen lately. Very "whatever happens will happen."
Someone called it the leaves in a stream theory. Thoughts, feelings, and actions float down a stream like leaves. Some leaves will catch your attention. Maybe you pick some of them up, but most leaves are going to just float on by without any notice. I feel like I've been doing this lately with thoughts and feelings. I'll just kind of see "Oh, there's a thought..." and let it go rather than closely examine and dissect it. It is what it is.
This forgiving, not getting up in the air about things attitude has been especially helpful when it's come to my reading. I've started several books, but none of them are really holding me. It's been gloriously hot and humid (I know, whatever, I love this weather!), so I'm thinking "I should read some Southern lit!" Then I'll start something by Eudora Welty or Thomas Wolfe and just can't get into it for more than a day. Then I'll think I want to read something set in New York. That seems to go better, but it's not a guarantee that I'll finish. French lit keeps pulling on my attention, particularly Colette. So do biographies, mostly of women that I kind of rather admire (like Colette). And a little Joan Didion and those Ann Patchett essays. And those books my uncle's fiancee recommended and she's moving here in a couple of weeks and I just haven't read any of them because I'm just not in a Jane Austen mood and carting around The Portable Dorothy Parker is difficult.
I know I don't do well trying to read four books at once, so I try to find just that one.
But here's the thing--I'm not beating myself up over it or giving myself a hard time.
That's a first. I'm usually frustrated and wanting to throw books around by this point. Rather, this time, I'm OK with not being thoroughly in the middle of something. I know that eventually I'll find that book that I *need* to read right now. Until then I feel like I am making a very good exploration of the books I currently own and am realizing some things about the beauty of and different approaches to prose writing and storytelling.